I joined The Living Room at the start of lockdown, so all my meetings have been on Zoom. At first I was sceptical but they are run exceptionally well by the counsellors and I feel like I know everyone in the group, even though some I haven't met in person.

When I came into The Living Room, I was at rock rock bottom. I couldn't see a way out apart from alcohol to get me through the days and my chaotic mind, which was full of trauma and neglected emotions. I couldn't cope with life anymore and drink was the only answer. Morning, noon and night. I never stopped the last months before recovery.

I had been in an abusive relationship in the past and instead of addressing these issues I just drank. At first it was one or two when the kids went to bed and then, 18 months later, I couldn't leave the house without a drink. It is shameful but I realise now I am very sick and need treatment, which I'm getting. I was suicidal and thought many times about walking in front of cars or taking tablets but I was faced with the fact that I couldn't leave my two little baby sons behind, so I had to endure my addiction for them.

My family were concerned and took me to my GP. After that I contacted The Living Room for help.

I was resistant at first. I was so deep in addiction and I felt so low that I found it difficult to connect. But as the fog lifted from the months of alcohol, I could connect and take in everything said at group. I can see some members that are way ahead of me in recovery and what an inspiration they are! This makes me hopeful that I can get there.

The subjects that are discussed, although triggering at times, are an immense help and have helped me understand how my addiction has manifested and how my mind works. The group is honest - this can be helpful and sometimes daunting but it's always valuable feedback. The counsellors are so intuitive, considering we are on Zoom. Some days I don't say a word and the counsellors can tell something is bothering me. They are always right, even if I don't realise it at the time.

Today I feel like me again. I'm off my anxiety tablets. I can leave the house. I can give my opinion. I can recognise my triggers. Many challenges have come up recently but with the help of the group I can cope with them and face them head on.

I have all the tools now to ensure I don't pick up a drink and it's up to me to use them. Some days are hard (I find the weekends hard as I'm in early recovery) and I rely on these sessions but I go to Alcoholics Anonymous, as advised, and that helps.

I'm so glad new groups will commence soon as all I want to do is get well and invest all my time right now into my recovery so I can go back to being a present mum and enjoy life. I know that will happen if I do everything I'm told and listen to all the advice I'm given by the members and counsellors at The Living Room.